Lost Week End

Malayan rubber planters earned a reputation for being hard drinkers during the communist uprising of 1948-1960. At the best of times, life on a rubber estate was a hard and lonely existence but when expatriates became easy targets for terrorists they could be forgiven for taking an extra slug or two of whisky at the end of the day. Mike Malone was a good example of the hard living hard drinking planter; his wife, Mary, ran him a close second. Both came from County Cork and, if put to the test, they would most probably have drunk most of their kinfolk back home in Ireland under the table any night of the week.
I first met them in the village of Triang in Malaya in 1952. Other than a few houses, a row of Chinese shops and a basketball pitch Triang’s only claim to an entry on the map was its railway station on a minor branch line that run up the spine of Malaya. It was also the location of battalion headquarters of the 3rd Battalion King's African Rifles.
The ‘down’ train from Mentakab had pulled in one day and was waiting in a siding for the ‘up’ train from Gemas to pass. First class passengers did not expect, neither did they receive, much comfort on this type of train; the only attractive feature was the dining car. Malays, Chinese and Indians sat on hard bench seats on one side of the kitchen while an open air terrace sufficient for six first class passengers was on the other. It was quite enjoyable to sit at the end of the train and enjoy the cool breeze as you looked down the track from the veranda. A Chinese cook produced delicious meals on a charcoal stove while his assistant looked after the drinks.
I was walking along the platform to my office when I heard a shout from the rear end of the train. I looked across the railway line and saw a beefy looking fellow with a glass in his hand inviting me to join him and his female companion for a drink. It was getting on for mid-day so I crossed the line and joined them on the train.
Mike Malone introduced himself and his wife and told me he managed the Glugor rubber estate near Mentakab. I gathered they were going to Bahau, about fifty miles down the line, to spend a few days with friends. The ‘up’ train had been delayed and we spent about an hour in each other’s company before the ‘down’ train could continue its journey. It was a pleasant interlude and before we parted the Malones invited me to a curry lunch party at their home on the estate the following Saturday.
At this stage of my story, the reader should understand that Malaya during the 'emergency' was not the cosy holiday destination it is today. Venturing on roads through jungle and rubber estates without an armed escort was asking for trouble and communication with Army units was subject to strict security; telephones were rarely used as they could easily be ‘tapped’ by the communist terrorist organisation. Wireless was the normal means of contact but this did not usually work after dark.
Unmarried officers lived a monastic life, but those who were married (accompanied) were able to visit their wives once a month on the island of Penang. The Commanding Officer must have appreciated the morale factor for officers like me, because when I asked for permission to go out for lunch, he said: “A day away from this place will do you good. Go off and enjoy yourself.”
The following Saturday morning, I set off in the CO’s Humber 4 X 4 command vehicle accompanied by a large American Dodge load carrier with half a dozen askaris, as my escort. I took a minimum amount of kit as I expected to be back in Triang that night.
Two hours later, I saw the sign post to Glugor estate and drove up the long line of palm trees to the Malone’s bungalow. Mike and Mary greeted me like an old friend and introduced me to a dozen or so people who had driven in from neighbouring rubber estates. As soon as I had slaked my thirst with a cold beer I went to the back of the house to see how my askaris were getting on. They were being looked after by Malay kitchen staff who most probably had never seen an African before. Instant rapport was the name of the game as far as the askaris were concerned and they had already made their mark with a buxom Malay lady who just happened to be in charge of the curry. I stayed with them as they were served mountains of rice and mouth watering selections of curried chicken, fish and goat. My driver told me afterwards he had never tasted anything so delicious in all his life.
When I rejoined the party I was introduced to a fellow called Guy Reardon who ran a rubber estate not far from Triang. When he heard I was going back to Triang that evening, he said: “There’s no need to keep your soldiers here, I’ll give you a lift home.” It seemed a good idea so I gave the askaris instructions to return to base when they had finished their meal.
Although the curry was ready to eat by 1pm, Mike and Mary were in no hurry to feed their guests, neither were their guests in any hurry to eat. There was plenty of drink and both conversation and alcohol flowed freely. I looked at my watch and saw it was getting on for three o’clock. Planters get up early in the morning and soon after dawn they supervise the collection of latex from thousands of rubber trees. After checking all is well in the processing sheds and smokehouse, they usually go home at about 9am and have a large breakfast. This keeps them going until 2pm'ish when they have ‘tiffin’ (light lunch) and then snooze through the hottest part of the day. During the comparative coolness of the late afternoon, they put in another couple of hours work on the estate. The ones I met at the party were 'letting their hair down' and enjoying a break from their normal routine; we sat down to eat at about 5 pm.
When darkness fell, I began to feel uneasy and wondered if Guy Reardon had forgotten about his offer to take me back to Triang. He had been drinking heavily since mid-day and was looking the worse for wear. At the risk of sounding a spoil-sport I impressed upon him my need to get back. He looked at me with glazed eyes and said: “The party’s just starting old boy. Let’s have another drink and enjoy ourselves.” I then asked Mike and Mary to help me but it was evident they also thought the party had some way to go. Guy took another glass of whisky but before he drank any there was a crash and he collapsed on the floor. Mary took one look at him and said: “Well, that’s him out for the night." Guy had hit his head on the corner of a coffee table and a pool of blood was spreading over the floor. “He’s always doing that,” grumbled Mike. “The last time he was here he put his head through that bamboo screen.” Mary brought a bandage and when the blood stopped flowing, Guy was carried to a bedroom and unceremoniously dumped on a bed. If only I had been able to pick up a telephone and speak to someone in battalion headquarters it would have been alright, but there was no way I could get through and going AWOL (absent without leave) on ‘active service’ is a serious matter.
I shared a bedroom with the drunken planter who was sleeping soundly when I turned in. When I awoke the following day, his pillow was covered in blood. I thought the wound on his head had opened but it turned out he had had a nose-bleed. Mary Malone told me it was not the first time he had made a mess of her bedding.
Guy was nursing a hangover when he joined us on the veranda and a bump on his forehead added to his discomfort. When he was offered a choice of corn flakes or fresh fruit he called for some ‘hair of the dog’, otherwise a brandy and ginger.
I was all for making an early start for Triang, but the Malones and Guy Reardon were intent upon attending another lunch party at a place called Bukit Dinding (Malay for ‘Valley Between the Mountain’); they could not understand why I was so anxious to return to a grotty little railway station on a Sunday morning. Once again, I tried to explain we worked every day of the week in 3/KAR but as far as they were concerned, Sunday was a day of rest. Instead, they promised me it would be a quick visit and that I would be back in base before the Colonel had woken up from his afternoon snooze.
I travelled to the manager’s bungalow on Bukit Dinding rubber estate with Guy in his armour plated Chevrolet saloon. It was a monster of a vehicle designed to protect anyone inside from rifle fire and hand grenades. He was very proud of his ‘Chevy’ which, he said, had proved its reliability when he had been ambushed by bandits a few months previously. He tried to impress me by hurling the thing around corners but it lurched so violently it only made me feel sick.
When we arrived at Bukit Dinding, I recognised a few of the people who had been at the Malone’s house the day before. I think most of them were feeling ‘fragile’ and we all sat down for lunch at the reasonable hour of one o’clock. I began to feel there was a chance I would be back in Triang, with a bit of luck, by late afternoon.
At three o’clock, guests started to thin out and Guy asked me if I was ready to make a move. We said our farewells and I climbed into the Chevy alongside him. When we reached the main road, instead of turning right, Guy swung the car in the opposite direction. “Where are we going now?” I yelped. “Just remembered, I’ve got to see a fellow in Bentong,” he replied. “Bentong!” I gasped. “Christ, that’s half way to Kuala Lumpur.” He put his foot down and the ‘tank’ hurtled down the jungle-fringed road. “It’s not that far. We’ll be there in half an hour and it will only take me a few minutes to do my business. You’ll still be back in Triang by six o’clock,” he said. I was none too pleased with this change of plan and I began to feel worried again.
We reached Bentong within the hour and Guy drew up alongside a Chinese general store and suggested I follow him inside. We climbed over some sacks of rice and dried fish and went upstairs where four Chinese men were playing mah-jong in a dimly lit room. Guy greeted them in Cantonese and introduced me. I had no idea what they were saying but I had the impression that Guy was being given a hard time. After about half an hour he stood up and I gathered that business had been completed.
We took the road back to Mentakab and I tried not to think what the CO would say when he saw me. He would be angry, for sure, but I hoped he would understand I was a victim of circumstances. The Chevrolet roared down the deserted highway and rolled alarmingly around corners. Still, we were making good time and I didn’t complain about Guy driving so fast.
During the Malayan emergency you got into the habit of looking for enemy ambush positions: I searched the jungle on each side of the road and kept my sub-machine gun ready for action - just in case! We entered a stretch of road with a number of bends and, to my horror, after negotiating a series of twists and turns, I saw a tree across the road. That usually spelt ‘Ambush’, but Guy had no intention of stopping. With a cry of: “Hold on!” he aimed the Chevy at the leafiest part of the tree. There was an almighty crash as the vehicle tore through branches and leaves and the collision almost halted the vehicle, but Guy put his foot down and the Chevy began to pick up speed again. We never knew if there were bandits near the tree and when we inspected the car later there were no obvious bullet holes. The suspension had been damaged though and we limped into Mentakab with a list to starboard and ominous groans coming from under the bonnet.
It was obvious the car was in no state to take us to Triang and the only course was to head for Glugor rubber estate and ask the Malones to put us up for another night. Mike and Mary were delighted to see us and soon we were tucking into a meal. Thereafter, we calmed our nerves with Irish whiskey while the clock ticked towards midnight. Guy had another nose-bleed during the night and when I awoke his face was covered in blood. I wondered why Mary didn't keep an old pillow so he could indulge himself as much as he liked whenever he stayed with them.
As soon as we had finished breakfast we went into Mentakab to see about getting the car repaired. The damage was more serious than we thought and Guy was told it would not be ready until about four o’clock that afternoon. Mary accompanied us so we left the Chevy at the garage and returned to the estate in her car. Later that morning she showed me around her flower garden and took me into a special place where she grew orchids. I told her my Commanding Officer loved flowers and that he had surrounded his basha (thatched hut) with a variety of plants. She knew I was worried about what he was going to say when I returned, so she suggested I take him a bunch of flowers and some potted plants. It could do no harm and might even cool him down - so I accepted her offer.
The foreman at the garage was still working on the Chevy when we arrived at 4pm and it took another two hours before it was ready for the road. We eventually got back to the Glugor estate at 6.30pm and were invited to have supper. Guy would have stayed another night if I had not insisted he take me home. I gathered the Colonel’s flowers and potted plants, slung my sub-machine gun on my shoulder and enlisted the help of Mary Malone to remove the bottle of Irish whiskey from Guy’s reach. Reluctantly, at about 7.30pm, he climbed into the driving seat of the Chevy and we set off for Triang.
Once we had crossed the Sungei Pahang (river), Guy turned off the main road and took a route through an overgrown rubber estate. To venture into such country at night without an escort seemed madness to me but Guy said he knew what he was doing and eventually we turned up at his estate. He told me that Triang was only a few miles away across country and that as soon as he had had a word with his houseboy he would drive me to the officers’ mess. I felt I was nearly ‘home and dry’ so I accepted a drink before embarking on the last lap of the journey. I had a tankard of beer and Guy poured himself a large whisky which he drank in one gulp.
While he poured himself another one, he told me about his business. He looked after three Chinese owned rubber estates and had to pay 'blood money' to the local communist terrorist organisation (Min Yuen) in order to stay alive. The worry of it all was driving him mad and he broke down in tears, which led to another nose-bleed. He collapsed on the floor and I shouted for help to get him into the bathroom. His servants were well practised in knowing what to do and while they were cleaning him up and putting him to bed I pondered on the latest situation in which I found myself. Here I was, not more than six miles from Triang, with no telephone and no way to get help. I strolled on to the veranda and wondered if I should drive the Chevy myself through the maze of tracks that criss-crossed each other on the huge rubber estate. I had almost made up my mind to do this when I saw the lights of a vehicle some distance away heading in my direction. It was another armoured saloon car and as it drew up alongside the bungalow I recognised the driver as Archie Richardson who occasionally came to battalion HQ to play bridge with the Colonel. “Hello Bob,” he said, “what are you doing here? “ I gave him a resume of the previous three days I had spent in Guy Reardon’s company and then asked him if he could take me back to Triang. “No problem,” he said. "Hang on a few minutes and I’ll run you home.”
I followed him into the bungalow and we checked on Guy, now tucked in bed inside a mosquito net. “This is par for the course,” said Archie. “He’s going to kill himself if he doesn’t stop drinking.” Archie found what he wanted and within a few minutes I had removed the flowers etc. from the Chevy and stowed them in the boot of the other vehicle. It took only twenty minutes to get to Triang and the sentry opened the gate when he saw me sitting in the passenger seat. Archie carried the box of plants and I took the bucket of flowers as we made our way to the officers’ mess.
I could see the Colonel and three other officers playing bridge, but they were so intent on their game that they did not look up until I said: “Good evening Colonel, I’m back.” The bucket of flowers was large and heavy and my face was hidden from view but the Colonel recognised my voice and would have blasted me if it had not been for Archie who was handing over the box of plants to the mess sergeant. I put the flowers on the card table but quickly removed them when I saw the acid look the Colonel gave me. Archie accepted the offer of a drink and this eased the situation somewhat. In fact, the Colonel was, as usual, the perfect host and he accepted Archie’s invitation to attend a pig shoot the following Sunday. I walked back to the car and Archie said: “I don’t know what you were worried about. The Colonel seemed alright to me.” I was under no illusion about being 'let off' but I went to bed thankful I was home at last.
After breakfast the following morning, I went to my office to see what had happened since I had been away. Warrant Officer Kathuka was bringing me up to date when Major Tony Lynch-Staunton, my company commander, walked in and told me to put my hat on. “The Colonel wants to see you - NOW,” he said.
I was marched into the CO's office by Tony and we both stood rigidly to attention as the Colonel said in a steely voice: “I want you to tell me exactly where you have been and what you have been doing since I saw you last Saturday morning.” I told him every detail of what had happened and ended up by apologising for acting in such an irresponsible way.
The Colonel's fingers drummed a tattoo on his desk top, and then he spoke in that deep voice with measured tones which I knew spelt trouble: “You have been very unfortunate in your selection of friends. They have let you down and you must pay the price for being absent without leave.” He then told me I would be confined to camp for a month (except when I was on duty - which was every day) and that I would not be allowed to go on leave for three months. (I did not have any leave during the twenty months I spent in Malaya, except for one week end when I visited some old friends in Bahau). It sounded like a severe punishment but, in fact, my routine was unaltered.
What hurt me most was causing my Commanding Officer to worry about me. I thought the world of him and was deeply ashamed about what had happened. But time has a way of sorting things out and years later at a regimental reunion tears of mirth ran down his face as he recalled the memory of me staggering into the mess at Triang and peeping at him through a large bunch of flowers.

Post script: I never saw Guy Reardon again; he committed suicide, or someone else blew his brains out, six weeks later. Rubber planters in the area closed ranks and the official line was that ‘drink’ had finally proved too much for him. But I remember the look on the faces of those sinister Chinese men playing mah-jong in Bentong and what Guy said about ‘paying the price to stay alive'.
The names of Guy Reardon, Mike and Mary Malone, Archie Richardson and the Glugor Rubber Estate are fictitious, but otherwise the story is true.

Friendly Fire

It is difficult to remember after the passage of fifty years how many askaris of the 3rd (Kenya) Battalion, The King’s African Rifles were casualties of accidental discharge of weapons. There was certainly a spate of incidents in the early days of our eighteen month tour of duty in Malaya from December 1951 to June 1953 but as time went by, training and expertise in handling weapons, with ‘one up the spout’, effectively cut down the casualty rate.
The first incident I can recollect was when a patrol in thick jungle in the middle of the night panicked and let fly at what they imagined to be a gang of communist terrorists. Unfortunately, most of their weapons were pointed towards the centre of the all-round defensive position and the platoon sergeant was hit in the backside with at least two rounds of .303. The Commanding Officer was furious and gave a stern warning that any more cases of ‘bure’ (Kiswahili word pronounced ‘booray’ meaning ‘for nothing’) rounds would be met with severe disciplinary action.
It was a normal sort of day, hot as hell without a breath of wind, when bullets zipped through the thatched walls and roofs of the flimsy huts we had erected on the platform of Triang railway station (otherwise known as Battalion Headquarters 3/KAR). My instinct for preservation has always been acute and within a second I was flat on the floor of the signals office. I waited for the next volley but none came so I crawled out of the office and joined the Adjutant and a few others who had assembled outside the orderly room. We were joined by the Commanding Officer who was bristling like a wart-hog. His ‘basha’ was on the south end of the platform and it received the full force of the blast. All became clear when a young lieutenant and a patrol of askaris came walking along the railway line towards battalion headquarters.
The first person the young officer saw was the CO: “I’m terribly sorry, sir,” he said, “I hope I haven't done any damage, my Owen gun went off as I was removing the magazine.” For a moment the CO was speechless and then a second volley (this time vocal) was let off. The subaltern was left in no doubt about the seriousness of his action and when the Adjutant told the Colonel that some of the bullets had gone through his wardrobe in his adjacent sleeping quarters, it was a wonder the miscreant was not put under arrest. The CO spent the rest of the morning composing a signal to all company commanders which spelt out, once again, his attitude to ‘bure’ rounds and what would happen to anyone else who let them off. Having got that out of his system he called for the dersi wallah (tailor) who took away some of his clothing which had taken a battering.
A few days later, I was coming out of the officers’ mess when I almost fell over a young officer who was sitting on the steps. He had just returned from patrol and, as he was in a very muddy state, he asked a mess waiter to serve him a cold beer outside. I sat alongside him and asked if he had anything to report. He told me that he and his askaris had spent three days in the jungle west of Triang rubber estates investigating some previously occupied bandit camps. As they had not been able to find any fresh tracks, he had decided to head for the railway line and battalion headquarters so that they could return to their company base on the armoured train. I noticed he was carrying an Owen gun, that unpredictable Australian sub-machine gun - and that it was loaded. I suggested he should proceed to the sand-bagged unloading bay and make safe his weapon but at that moment the waiter arrived with his beer and before I could stop him he started to unload the weapon. There was a cascade of gunfire and for the second time in a week the Commanding Officer came under fire while sitting at his desk.
The Colonel was made for speed and his long legs carried him out of his office faster than a hare breaking cover. His impetus took him almost to the steps of the officers’ mess and the smoking gun barrel of the young subaltern. The CO could be forgiven for thinking there was some sort of conspiracy on the part of his subalterns to get rid of him, but British Army officers are not, generally, that way inclined. Instead, he summoned the Adjutant and told him to put the young officer under arrest (not much point in doing that on ‘active service’) and convene a court of inquiry. The subaltern could expect to be arraigned before the Brigade Commander and receive, at least, a reprimand which he would always carry on his record of service.
In April 1952 we took delivery of the first two of our Daimler Ferret scout cars. Up until that time the Colonel travelled in a cumbersome Humber four-by-four station wagon which was vulnerable to gunfire, but in these snug little vehicles, one protecting the other, he could travel in safety anywhere.
He decided to make use of both when he and the intelligence officer were ordered to attend the Brigade Commander’s conference three days later. This gave the motor transport officer enough time to prepare the mountings for twin Bren machine guns, each with one hundred round magazines above the ‘conning tower’, which was the only way to get in and out of the vehicle.
On the day of the conference, the Intelligence Officer made sure that the Colonel would be as comfortable as possible in the rather cramped conditions of the scout car. Both vehicles were drawn up outside the officers’ mess and all the CO had to do was walk down the steps, climb on top of the leading scout car and ease himself through the hole.
The ‘bwana mkubwa’ (big master) was aptly named as he stood six feet four inches tall. Getting into the vehicle proved to be a problem but after a considerable amount of wriggling and adjustment of baggage he succeeded in getting himself settled. The IO started to tell him about the twin Bren guns that were mounted above his head and how they should be fired should the likelihood arise, but the Colonel was not listening: “What are these handle-bar things for, Charles?” he said. “They are for moving the guns up and down and sideways,” said the IO, “but whatever you do, sir, don’t squeeze the things that look like brakes.” It was too late, the Colonel had already gripped both ‘brakes’ which operated the triggers by remote control.
Battalion HQ officers had become used to the sound of sub-machine guns going off in the area of the Colonel’s basha, but twin Bren guns blasting off was something knew. The guns happened to be pointing towards the motor transport park where drivers were doing their first parade servicing - checking tyre pressures, oil and water levels etc. Two three-tonners were hit by .303 rounds while a third had two of its tyres punctured. Askaris did not wait to find where the bullets were coming from. The Sungei Triang, a fast flowing tributary of the Sungei Pahang, flowed past the far end of the MT park and most of them dived in.
The Colonel was stunned for a few seconds and then realised what had happened. In all fairness, it was not his fault that the Bren guns were loaded and the safety catches were off. But he was the vehicle commander even though he had just got in and had never travelled in such a vehicle before. The important thing was to find a scape-goat and the IO was conveniently available.
The commanding officer was never allowed to forget that unfortunate incident and he was associated with ‘bure’ rounds for the remainder of the time we served in Malaya.
‘It’s an ill-wind that blows nobody any good’. This ancient adage was borne out when the subaltern who sprayed the Colonel’s basha from the steps of the officers mess, heard nothing more about being put in front of the Brigadier.